She Comes First?

She Comes First?

So the other day my wife comes home from Barnes and Noble with a book for me titled,” She comes first.”…A thinking man’s guide to pleasuring a woman by author Ian Kerner Ph.D. I remember the book because it was mentioned on that old ladies show on satellite, you know the one where she talks about everything sexual that we just had happened to be watching one night. She said it was a great book and viewers should read it for whatever reasons I can't remember.

So my beautiful wife says, I thought you might like to read this it could be fun. Ok I said, of course I am up for a new challenge, I always am. Boy but I wasn’t ready for this. This guy has attempted through writing this book to remove mans penis! I started reading this book and the first thing he goes after is how men need to get it out of their heads that sex is not about pleasuring men and intercourse, but it’s all about outerourse (CUNNILINGUS) and a woman’s pleasure. Ok so I agree a bit on the pleasuring of a woman but why is sex not about men at all? I was confused, I had to keep reading.

So I read on and it didn’t get any better. This DOCTOR (of what I have no idea) continues to go on and on about how we men constantly deny woman of the pleasure of orgasm and just go straight to intercourse. He continues in saying how men should be happy just to pleasure a woman and skip intercourse all together. Excuse me sir but who’s ass are you kissing? Why even have sex? Why do you have a penis anyways? He should be forced to turn his penis in and ask for a mangina. I love sex! And if it is never going to be about me then WTF. Why bother?

After his constant assault on the male need for sex and the uselessness of the male genetalia, he continues by describing in detail the 18 different parts of the female clitoris. Why do I need to know this? Why did he feel the need to let me know that men are so inferior because we only have a thousand nerve endings down there and woman were so blessed with over 10,000!!! Thank you sir, again. This went on for at least 100 pages, and the more I read the more I became appalled at the idea that sex is not for men! I guess it said it all in the title.

He goes on and on quoting everyone from Confucius to Thoreau using quotes in ways that if folks saying them were still alive they would sue. What a dork! My wife kept telling me to just put it down and she was sorry she bought it but wait! I had to get to the all famous part two that he refers to about three thousand times in the epilogue and the first thirty chapters. Why didn’t I just skip to part two you ask, I have no good answer.

So I get to part two, and it says that I should dedicate at least 30 minutes to going down there to satisfy her properly. Oh my god! That’s a long time. I guess if you never use your penis(because you don’t have one) and all you do is oral, your mouth might be used to being open forever and your tongue never gets tired, not to mention anything about the lack of moisture in you mouth after about 15 minutes or oral play. I would like to ask how many women would go down on a guy for more than ten minutes let alone 30! KEEP CONSTANT PRESSURE as he says over and over, ohhhhh give me a break! Use my gums, what am I a horse! Excuse me all, I forget this is “She comes first,” and sex is not for me but for her. Some women might like to get eaten out by mister Ed. I am looking at these diagrams of techniques and thinking to myself that I have read the joy of sex before, wasn’t that published in the seventies? Maybe he couldn’t afford a good artist, or maybe he couldn’t get them to participate in this heresy. He describes in detail the many different stages of arousal and orgasm and what I should be watching for. Personally I am not into making sex a science but hey when you don’t know what the hell you are doing I guess this book would lead you down a bumpy crash course.

All and all it was a poorly written book. I got some good pointers AND THEY DO WORK VERY WELL. But I do not agree with his ass kissing erectile dysfunctional mangina opinions on intercourse and sex period. I don’t think he realized how he is going to mess with men’s heads, or does he? Is this some twisted experiment? A master plan to eliminate the penis??? I think HE is really a SHE and has a lot of issues with men and may need to seek therapy.

just my two cents