You live and you learn...

You live and you learn!

This year I turn 30 years old. Oh my hell that seems crazy to me. I used to say how in the year 2000, will be 23. That day came and went really fast. But oh how far away it was in 1992. So I have moved past that day and I have said that when I turned 30 I would be old and wise. I feel old, but I think with age should come experience and wisdom, right. WRONG!

I have so much to learn about life; women, relationships, work, travel, food, love, pain, humor, sympathy, sadness, health and what makes me tick. I have had one bad marriage ending in divorce. Many bad girlfriends, friendships, and acquaintances that have gone away and nobody knows why (at least they never told me why). All things together I am perplexed. I think I have a handle on it all, why can’t I get it right?

I have figured out that if I open my mouth someone gets offended (I am working on that). And that I need to learn to keep things to myself more. Or at least write things down instead of saying them. For years I have wondered how my father has done it for so long. He doesn’t let things show, he is generally always happy, and he doesn’t say much. I should ask him what the secret is but he probably doesn’t know either. If there is a man on this planet that has patience it is him. If you have met my Mother, you would know what I mean. He is either a pro, or he is really good at hiding stuff. I have a goal to be more like him in life.

When you look at the big picture it is sad really. I have to get it together. I stress people out because I am a nervous wreck. I always try and play the savior and take all the worries and problems on myself. I need to stop. I am afraid I am going to die young from just being worn out, or I will have an aneurism or something.

I have only one thing I want out of life (my big picture). I want to be happy. I can really only remember two times when I was truly happy. 1- When my son Devin was born, 2- when I expressed my love for Mariah and married my soul mate. That is it. Pretty short list eh! What else makes me happy? I only have those two things. Do people have tons of stuff that make them happy or am I weird? I feel that I need to be happy for more but it is hard to find reasons. Truly being happy is what I want, I am sure I am not alone there. I have learned what doesn’t make me happy; I can go on for days. It has gotten hard to find things to be happy about even in the interim. I am happy that I still have 2 reasons to be happy that has got to count. I just don’t want to lose them as well.

My search has begun again to find happiness and keep things in tact. In my next thirty years I am going to laugh more. I am going to not be down as much no matter what. Maybe making light of everything and never being serious is the key? I am going to take lots of opportunities to look around and take in nature. I am going to be alone more, never really been alone for long. I am going to eat better and drink less. I am not going to be afraid of medication, it is not evil, maybe you can help me happy pill. I am going to try and be adventurous, step out there and take a chance. I am going to worry less; I don’t want to become my grandfather as my wife says. I am going to live life as if there may not be a tomorrow and stop worrying about what I don’t have and what I wish that I had. I am going to be more patient. I am going to read more books that are not just teaching me something.

All in all I am going to try my best to feel better about things. I don’t want to lose the life I have and I owe it to myself, my wife, and my family and friends to get out of this rut. I am thankful that you have all put up with me for this long, it will get better. I hit a low and that happens, and I am sorry.


"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

-Helen Keller



"...happiness is the highest good, being a realization and perfect practice of virtue, which some can attain, while others have little or none of it..."

-Aristotle

A few of my favorites, What are yours?

These are a few of my favorites, what are yours?



My top ten all time favorite TV shows

1. Science and nature television- specifically Cosmos, Naked science, the most extreme, wild kingdom etc…
2. Star Trek (the old ones)
3. Amazing Race
4. Survivor
5. Cops
6. Iron Chef (the original Japanese version)
7. Dirty Jobs
8. V
9. The Adams family
10. Silver spoons

My top ten all time favorite movies

1. Star Wars episode one through six
2. Star Trek wrath of Kahn
3. Lord of the rings- return of the king and fellowship of the ring.
4. So I married an axe murderer
5. Jason and the Argonauts
6. Seven brides for seven brothers
7. The Good the Bad and the Ugly
8. Patton
9. Fools Rush In
10. Full metal jacket

My top favorite Cartoons (don’t really get to watch them much anymore-dang growing up thing!)

1. Bugs bunny
2. Tom and Jerry
3. The Flintstones
4. The Jetsons
5. Popeye
6. Ren and Stimpy
7. Any old Disney cartoons
8.
9.
10.


My top ten favorite music artists

1. 311
2. Marty Robbins
3. Johnny Cash
4. Fiji
5. Deep breakfast
6. Gotan Project
7. Israel Kamakowiwo’ole
8. Jack Johnson
9. Seal
10. Daft Punk


If you are a TV nerd or were a TV nerd back in the late seventies early 80's like me click on this link and try and get all 50 quiz questions right. I got 38 right on the first try, what will you get?

http://www.quiz-zone.co.uk/quizrounds/060112ustvsitcoms/questions.html

I have figured myself out!

As of today I have figured myself out!

Here a description of what I am like as a person;

1. I have a simple personality. I am most happy when all things are well and everyone around me is happy and not complicated. When things become complicated or they are in disorder, I spring into action and I must correct the problems at hand.
2. I am very needy! I need to be cared about. I need to have everything be alright in my life (see number one). I need to have the ones I love, love me back in the same manner that I love them. I need a plan at all times from beginning to end for everything (so much for spontaneity). I need to have cotton swabs in the bathroom at all times (it’s an ear cleanliness thing, some of you may understand). I need things that are not yet apparent to me or anyone else at the time, but I need them to be met. I guess everyone should just know even though I don’t (What a spaz!).
3. I wear my emotions on my sleeves! I am never afraid to express my feelings on anything (personally this has been known to be my biggest downfall, in which I tend to say whatever I am feeling). Just ask anyone in my family about the golden seal movie, very emotional child.
4. I give 110%. I will give of myself and short myself over and over to make family and friends happy. Believe me it sets me up for being used a lot! But hey, I am very passionate, I always have been. This usually is the reason I don’t keep friends very long.
5. I do not like change! I respond to change like the North Pole responds to global warming! It freaks out and melts.
6. I have a very good, but dorky sense of humor. I see a lot of bad things at work and the one way to deal with it is laugh and make others laugh. I am always being reminded by my wife how the dorkiest people, that she is laughing at, remind her of how I act. I can get pretty crazy, especially on Day-Quil. Picture William Hung on pot!
7. I am moody. Either I am happy or angry, sometimes delusional and or depressed. Depending on where I am, and when I am there. Being not at work and being home with my wife and family is always an initially happy mood barring exigent circumstances. Being at work on a Thursday and in charge of intake usually brings out all moods at once. Ever see the exorcist?
8. I am easy to please. Don’t lie to me, cheat, steal from me or use me and I am a happy camper. We will get along just dandy!
9. And lastly, I am appreciative of my wife. Hi Babe! Regardless of all our troubles, only she makes me whole. I would be lost without her. She knows all my quirks and understands how weird I am and lets a lot of things go. She pushes me to try new things and gets me to step out there. She and I always balance each other out. I make her laugh and cry and it always makes me feel good when I can bring her happiness. She has been my rock when I have needed her, and so will I be hers forever. She is a large part of me.

If you ever wanted to know me, you do now. I am full of…well…something. I think my Grandma says,”Piss and vinegar,” or “shit”I can’t remember which.

She Comes First?

She Comes First?

So the other day my wife comes home from Barnes and Noble with a book for me titled,” She comes first.”…A thinking man’s guide to pleasuring a woman by author Ian Kerner Ph.D. I remember the book because it was mentioned on that old ladies show on satellite, you know the one where she talks about everything sexual that we just had happened to be watching one night. She said it was a great book and viewers should read it for whatever reasons I can't remember.

So my beautiful wife says, I thought you might like to read this it could be fun. Ok I said, of course I am up for a new challenge, I always am. Boy but I wasn’t ready for this. This guy has attempted through writing this book to remove mans penis! I started reading this book and the first thing he goes after is how men need to get it out of their heads that sex is not about pleasuring men and intercourse, but it’s all about outerourse (CUNNILINGUS) and a woman’s pleasure. Ok so I agree a bit on the pleasuring of a woman but why is sex not about men at all? I was confused, I had to keep reading.

So I read on and it didn’t get any better. This DOCTOR (of what I have no idea) continues to go on and on about how we men constantly deny woman of the pleasure of orgasm and just go straight to intercourse. He continues in saying how men should be happy just to pleasure a woman and skip intercourse all together. Excuse me sir but who’s ass are you kissing? Why even have sex? Why do you have a penis anyways? He should be forced to turn his penis in and ask for a mangina. I love sex! And if it is never going to be about me then WTF. Why bother?

After his constant assault on the male need for sex and the uselessness of the male genetalia, he continues by describing in detail the 18 different parts of the female clitoris. Why do I need to know this? Why did he feel the need to let me know that men are so inferior because we only have a thousand nerve endings down there and woman were so blessed with over 10,000!!! Thank you sir, again. This went on for at least 100 pages, and the more I read the more I became appalled at the idea that sex is not for men! I guess it said it all in the title.

He goes on and on quoting everyone from Confucius to Thoreau using quotes in ways that if folks saying them were still alive they would sue. What a dork! My wife kept telling me to just put it down and she was sorry she bought it but wait! I had to get to the all famous part two that he refers to about three thousand times in the epilogue and the first thirty chapters. Why didn’t I just skip to part two you ask, I have no good answer.

So I get to part two, and it says that I should dedicate at least 30 minutes to going down there to satisfy her properly. Oh my god! That’s a long time. I guess if you never use your penis(because you don’t have one) and all you do is oral, your mouth might be used to being open forever and your tongue never gets tired, not to mention anything about the lack of moisture in you mouth after about 15 minutes or oral play. I would like to ask how many women would go down on a guy for more than ten minutes let alone 30! KEEP CONSTANT PRESSURE as he says over and over, ohhhhh give me a break! Use my gums, what am I a horse! Excuse me all, I forget this is “She comes first,” and sex is not for me but for her. Some women might like to get eaten out by mister Ed. I am looking at these diagrams of techniques and thinking to myself that I have read the joy of sex before, wasn’t that published in the seventies? Maybe he couldn’t afford a good artist, or maybe he couldn’t get them to participate in this heresy. He describes in detail the many different stages of arousal and orgasm and what I should be watching for. Personally I am not into making sex a science but hey when you don’t know what the hell you are doing I guess this book would lead you down a bumpy crash course.

All and all it was a poorly written book. I got some good pointers AND THEY DO WORK VERY WELL. But I do not agree with his ass kissing erectile dysfunctional mangina opinions on intercourse and sex period. I don’t think he realized how he is going to mess with men’s heads, or does he? Is this some twisted experiment? A master plan to eliminate the penis??? I think HE is really a SHE and has a lot of issues with men and may need to seek therapy.

just my two cents